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Lessons Learned Fishing with My Father-in-Law
I.
We have a limited amount of time on the road of life. Go as fast as possible and see as much as possible.
II.
Panfish use the cover from structure such as weed beds to avoid predators. This includes docks and the shadow cast by your boat.
Addendum: Bass and Northern Pike know and respond to this rule
III.
Any day spent fishing is better than a day spent working.
Paraphrase: An advantage of retirement is that you can fish during the week to avoid the crowds, amateurs, and assholes in general.
IV.
Fishing is like farting; you’re never 100 percent sure what is going to happen.
V.
When the bite is slow, scan the shoreline and the water. Watch the loons trolling across the surface and the gulls mounting a thermal without so much as the bat of a wing. Consider the person you are fishing with and ask them a question, something with an answer that is certain to be useful. Talk to him about the last thirty years; let him talk to you about the next thirty years.
VI.
There is no such thing as a beer snob after a hot day on a boat.
VII.
You bought live bait for a reason; keep it fresh.
Addendum/clarification/point of expansion: The secret of life is movement. Do what you can.
VIII.
Small fish congregate high in the water column. You need to get your bait deep to hook meatier fish. Use a weight or a heavy titanium hook.
Addendum: This is unless you are working top-water lures, crankbaits, etc., something to be addressed in the lesson next summer.
IX.
Be patient but not too patient. Fishing with a partner of a different temperament can make you better as a team, but there are times where a tiebreaker, or referee, is useful.
X.
Be open to new ideas.
Addendum: Eventually, someone needs to be decisive.
Addendum 2.0: You don’t always need to be that someone.
XI.
All parties on the boat should vary their bait until it is clear what the fish are biting that day.
XII.
Lessons gleaned from other sources (Fish and Game, guides, etc.) are not valid to the same degree as information derived from first-hand experience. If this seems at all ass-backwards, remember this other fishing axiom: Don’t make waves.
XIII.
Don’t forget sunscreen.
Addendum: As you may be sitting for hours in your shorts, don’t forget it on your legs.
XIV.
Watch what you drink. You’ll have to contend with it later, on a rocking boat.
XV.
A small nail clipper is often as useful as a knife.
XVI.
While holding a bait in your hand, you’ll notice it struggling to survive. This is instinctual, and there is a certain weight to that fact. It’s OK to ponder that a moment.
XVII.
When fuel needs to be mixed with oil for your motor, it’s a good idea to write down the amount of gasoline purchased on your way to the lake.
XVIII.
Always ask the question: Did you put in the plug?
XIX.
The boat need not be silent. Bob Dylan, Neil Young, The Who, Muddy Waters, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Otis Redding, and Jimi Hendrix are welcome to come along for the ride.
XX.
Fishing, like life, is fluid. Resist the temptation to set things in stone. You’re dealing with nature.
Addendum: People are part of nature. They engage in predictable patterns of behavior, but like animals, they break through constraints at certain times. You’re better off reacting to what happens than trying to guess what will happen.
XXI.
Take a lesson from the fish: You can only learn so much in school.
~
D.E. Kern
D. E. Kern is a writer and educator from Bethlehem, Pa. His work has appeared in Appalachian Review, Rio Grande Review, Big Muddy, and Negative Capability among others. He teaches English at Arizona Western College where he also directs the Honors Program.